Treadmill

Treadmill
My foot slams down over the passing tread

Only to land on the tread ahead

Faster and faster the tread seems to slip

As if I am the one it’s trying to trip

~

Never the less, I continue on

My feet hitting the tread to the beat of a song

A beat which is matched by my gasps for air

So loud it can make the most modest stare

~

With each gasp I can feel my weakness leave

Also my strength – and maybe my spleen

Though organs aside I continue to try

To best this tread that continues to fly

~

It flies in the face of my prideful self

My body showing signs that it needs my help

My face is bright red and covered in sweat

And my legs can’t take much more I bet

I don’t know the number of breaths I can take

If I continue running at this desperate pace

~

See this tread was set in motion by a notion

That I was or at least could be fit

Yet evidenced by my failing body it might be best if I just quit

~

I’d wave a white flag and put my hands in the air

If I knew for one second that this treadmill would care

Instead I’ll give it something it understand

The press of a button, a stopping command

~

But before I have the chance to give up completely

The treadmill suddenly stops

The screen flashes green with “workout completed”

And I’m left incredibly stumped

~

I’m not sure if I should be happy

That I made it to my goal

Or if I should be upset at myself

With how close I came to fold

~

I only know that my fate will be shared

By the next person who is so bold

As to set foot on these here treads

With their own personal workout goals

~

While they may not share my emotional distress

Every step will put their will to the test

As when it is easy to give up so quick

It can be hard to convince yourself not to just quit

 

~

~

 

I can’t believe it’s been nearly three months since I last posted on this blog. Life has been busy as always and even more so of late. I hope you enjoy this work and thanks for stopping by.

The You That You Are

The You That You Are

No turning back

Not after what’s done

You cannot run

The truth you confine

It shapes and defines

 

The you that you are

 

Mistakes and missteps

Success or neglect

Lest we forget

The path you paved

In turn made

 

The you that you are

 

Worthless self-worth

No one deserving

There is no earning

Or finding how to

Have a reason to value

 

The you that you are

The ideal too far

 

You need to know though

You are unique

But the pain you keep

Distorts the you that you could be

 

As if pain and the future are one in the same

But it doesn’t have to be

Who you will see

 

Permanent penance

Can give way to grace

Stopping the race

To force repentance

 

You cannot fix what’s been done

The past can’t change

But the future remains

Self-worth in the rising sun

 

With each new day

You must know that

No matter where you’re at

You have a say deciding

 

The you that you are

The you that you will see

And the you, you’re bound to be

 

This poem was inspired by a co-worker of mine struggling with self-worth. Something I believe we all experience in one form or another.

Stress

Stress

Let me be honest, I’m experiencing stress

It’s not the type of stress that I can’t affect

I alone have control over the task

I get to decide to take it slow or fast

 

Yet I’m at a standstill

I’ll work on it, I will

 

But, I don’t have time now

I’m busy stressing out

Trying not to scream or shout

As to not let anyone else

See the stress, that has come over me

 

This is never going to get done

Pay no mind to what I could’ve done

Had I spent less time fretting

With more time spent getting it done

 

At this point it might be best to let it go

Leave unfinished what was not completed

And reap the seeds that were sown

Even if they were improperly seeded

 

In the end there can be two results

Either success miraculously justifies the stress

Vindicating what seemed to be unproductive

Or failure comes knocking judging the mess

 

Either way the seeds have been sown

And … I was supposed to turn this in two minutes ago

 

Silly Cliche

This poem is just a silly cliche poem I wrote after I showed someone my poetry and they said back to me

“All of this doesn’t rhyme, no roses are red or violets are blue”

So this poem is for that person.

Silly Cliche

Roses are red

Violets are Blue

Wait, shouldn’t they be purple too

Forget it I’ve had enough

I give up, this is too tough

Missing Family Dearly

When I leave home, I leave behind a piece of me

A piece of my heart, left behind for my family

 

For eight hours I work and miss them dearly

I wish I could just hold them near me

Always close by, I’d never leave

Sadly, this, is how it has to be

 

I must depart for the life we live

To feed my family, my wife and kids

Though I don’t like it, it has to be

I wish, I wish I never had to leave

 

The hole I carry on these days

Reminds me of family far away

It makes you realize what you took for granted

What you had so close to hand and

Didn’t enjoy every moment you could

Realizing, only now, that you should

Have used your time, in a better way

Instead of wasting your time each day

On experiences, and stuff, that doesn’t last

 

You think you know what is important

Until you realize the fortune

You had, long after the moment has passed

Time already spent that will not last

 

Now time spent on family, that’s something else

 

Its not something you can quantify

Can rationalize

You can’t break it down to science

Its not achievable

A career goal

You can’t trade it for the finest

 

But at our core it’s what we need

 

And the more I miss

The more I see

Just what I’ve been missing

 

So that piece of my heart I leave behind

Makes this hole, that serves to remind me

Of how much I miss them, when I’m away

Of how much I miss them, every, single day

Of how I wish I never had to leave

Of how I wish I could always be

Close and near, keeping them with me

Of how much I miss

My family dearly

Caring Wife

 

As a man I try to be strong

Always trying to care form myself

It takes a lot to admit I need help

Sometimes though, I’m like anyone else

 

Well, more often than I’d like to admit

 

When I need help I turn to my spouse

Never planning on needing assistance

I do not plan on bringing problems with us

 

It just happens

Like anything in life

 

It makes me grateful for my amazing wife

She cares for me in my times of need

Sacrificing herself for the care I receive

Its hard to believe that she would care for me

When she has her own list of unmet needs

 

But she does and I”m grateful

More than she’ll ever know

She deserves more gratitude

Than I can ever show

 

So I write this poem straight from my heart

For my wife who goes beyond the part

Caring for me, well exceeding

The minimum care I actually needed

 

Life is not easy and I can’t always help

But in sickness and in health

I wouldn’t live it with anyone else

 

Defiance

Defiance

I was told no

Which I promptly ignored

I had no obvious reason

No bone to pick, not a grudge to hold

Yet I still went against what I was told

 

I still defied the authority

Despite it’s power over me

 

Perhaps it was curiosity

A desire to know the consequence

To act out and then repent

Like a child seeking to discover their world

By acting in a way that seems absurd

 

Perhaps it was a deeper desire

Subtle urges, smoldering fires

A cause for the effect that was my decision

It’s memory repressed and carefully hidden

Seeking revenge for a past transgression

Only in hindsight will there be a confession

 

Perhaps it was to find the line

The line held in the authorities mind

Finding exactly where this line was drawn

Demotes the authority to a simple pawn

As approaching the line but not crossing it

Gives you much more without any losses

 

Or maybe

Just maybe

It was because I was told no

Without anyone taking the time to show

Me the consequences and the reasons behind the rule

Believe their authority to be absolute

It may seem strange asking you to explain

That which you’ve always naturally retained

 

But I’m not the same

 

I did not live my life in your shoes

Not for one day was I ever you

So giving me no without a single regard

Is hard, it’s hard

Nothing less than hard

 

Its hard for me to grasp where you’re coming from

Hard for me to understand your decision

Hard for me to blindly follow

Its hard for me to believe what seems hollow

 

I realize I went against what I was told

And you must be thinking this is getting old

That I have no hope to ever change

Forever and always remaining the same

 

But if instead of simply saying no

You gave me more beyond what you’ve just told

Giving me the reason you denied my request

Then maybe I can give you reason to forget

The person I’ve been, full of defiance

When it’s replaced by heartfelt compliance

 

Deep down inside, while I may not agree

If you take the time to help me see

You will see exactly who I can be