Give Me A Chance

Give me a chance
Don’t walk away
Please just hear what I have to say

Give me a chance
Don’t turn your back
I know I have something that you might lack

Give me a chance
Don’t drown me out
I want to talk but if I have to I’ll shout

GIVE me a chance
…Just for  a moment
And then you can pretend that you don’t even know me

Give me a chance
Before you ‘think’ you know
When I haven’t even been given the opportunity to show you

Who I really am

We’ve only just met, less than a minute
Yet you’ve already decided who I am and pinned it
To the front of your mind to continually remind you
Of how you first thought of me

And it doesn’t matter if after this we’re friends
Because the time for impressions has come to an end
That image of me has been burned in your brain
And though I’d like it to, it’s not likely to change
Everything will be colored by how you first felt
The dice have been cast, the cards have been dealt
And the best hand that I could possibly receive
Is five years from now having you say to me
I’m glad you didn’t turn out the way I thought you’d be.
But the most common hand that I’m going to get
Is one awkward look, and then you’ll quickly forget that you ever could have known me

I just want a chance, that’s my confession
Instead I’m boiled down to one first impression
And that moment I asked for has long ago passed
You dealt me my hand and I came in last

My consolation prize being the look in your eyes
As you wait for me to disengage and walk away so you don’t appear rude

Well, I’ll return your awkward look with half of a wave
And never understand why it has to be this way.

Treadmill

Treadmill
My foot slams down over the passing tread

Only to land on the tread ahead

Faster and faster the tread seems to slip

As if I am the one it’s trying to trip

~

Never the less, I continue on

My feet hitting the tread to the beat of a song

A beat which is matched by my gasps for air

So loud it can make the most modest stare

~

With each gasp I can feel my weakness leave

Also my strength – and maybe my spleen

Though organs aside I continue to try

To best this tread that continues to fly

~

It flies in the face of my prideful self

My body showing signs that it needs my help

My face is bright red and covered in sweat

And my legs can’t take much more I bet

I don’t know the number of breaths I can take

If I continue running at this desperate pace

~

See this tread was set in motion by a notion

That I was or at least could be fit

Yet evidenced by my failing body it might be best if I just quit

~

I’d wave a white flag and put my hands in the air

If I knew for one second that this treadmill would care

Instead I’ll give it something it understand

The press of a button, a stopping command

~

But before I have the chance to give up completely

The treadmill suddenly stops

The screen flashes green with “workout completed”

And I’m left incredibly stumped

~

I’m not sure if I should be happy

That I made it to my goal

Or if I should be upset at myself

With how close I came to fold

~

I only know that my fate will be shared

By the next person who is so bold

As to set foot on these here treads

With their own personal workout goals

~

While they may not share my emotional distress

Every step will put their will to the test

As when it is easy to give up so quick

It can be hard to convince yourself not to just quit

 

~

~

 

I can’t believe it’s been nearly three months since I last posted on this blog. Life has been busy as always and even more so of late. I hope you enjoy this work and thanks for stopping by.

The You That You Are

The You That You Are

No turning back

Not after what’s done

You cannot run

The truth you confine

It shapes and defines

 

The you that you are

 

Mistakes and missteps

Success or neglect

Lest we forget

The path you paved

In turn made

 

The you that you are

 

Worthless self-worth

No one deserving

There is no earning

Or finding how to

Have a reason to value

 

The you that you are

The ideal too far

 

You need to know though

You are unique

But the pain you keep

Distorts the you that you could be

 

As if pain and the future are one in the same

But it doesn’t have to be

Who you will see

 

Permanent penance

Can give way to grace

Stopping the race

To force repentance

 

You cannot fix what’s been done

The past can’t change

But the future remains

Self-worth in the rising sun

 

With each new day

You must know that

No matter where you’re at

You have a say deciding

 

The you that you are

The you that you will see

And the you, you’re bound to be

 

This poem was inspired by a co-worker of mine struggling with self-worth. Something I believe we all experience in one form or another.

Stress

Stress

Let me be honest, I’m experiencing stress

It’s not the type of stress that I can’t affect

I alone have control over the task

I get to decide to take it slow or fast

 

Yet I’m at a standstill

I’ll work on it, I will

 

But, I don’t have time now

I’m busy stressing out

Trying not to scream or shout

As to not let anyone else

See the stress, that has come over me

 

This is never going to get done

Pay no mind to what I could’ve done

Had I spent less time fretting

With more time spent getting it done

 

At this point it might be best to let it go

Leave unfinished what was not completed

And reap the seeds that were sown

Even if they were improperly seeded

 

In the end there can be two results

Either success miraculously justifies the stress

Vindicating what seemed to be unproductive

Or failure comes knocking judging the mess

 

Either way the seeds have been sown

And … I was supposed to turn this in two minutes ago

 

Silly Cliche

This poem is just a silly cliche poem I wrote after I showed someone my poetry and they said back to me

“All of this doesn’t rhyme, no roses are red or violets are blue”

So this poem is for that person.

Silly Cliche

Roses are red

Violets are Blue

Wait, shouldn’t they be purple too

Forget it I’ve had enough

I give up, this is too tough

Missing Family Dearly

When I leave home, I leave behind a piece of me

A piece of my heart, left behind for my family

 

For eight hours I work and miss them dearly

I wish I could just hold them near me

Always close by, I’d never leave

Sadly, this, is how it has to be

 

I must depart for the life we live

To feed my family, my wife and kids

Though I don’t like it, it has to be

I wish, I wish I never had to leave

 

The hole I carry on these days

Reminds me of family far away

It makes you realize what you took for granted

What you had so close to hand and

Didn’t enjoy every moment you could

Realizing, only now, that you should

Have used your time, in a better way

Instead of wasting your time each day

On experiences, and stuff, that doesn’t last

 

You think you know what is important

Until you realize the fortune

You had, long after the moment has passed

Time already spent that will not last

 

Now time spent on family, that’s something else

 

Its not something you can quantify

Can rationalize

You can’t break it down to science

Its not achievable

A career goal

You can’t trade it for the finest

 

But at our core it’s what we need

 

And the more I miss

The more I see

Just what I’ve been missing

 

So that piece of my heart I leave behind

Makes this hole, that serves to remind me

Of how much I miss them, when I’m away

Of how much I miss them, every, single day

Of how I wish I never had to leave

Of how I wish I could always be

Close and near, keeping them with me

Of how much I miss

My family dearly

Caring Wife

 

As a man I try to be strong

Always trying to care form myself

It takes a lot to admit I need help

Sometimes though, I’m like anyone else

 

Well, more often than I’d like to admit

 

When I need help I turn to my spouse

Never planning on needing assistance

I do not plan on bringing problems with us

 

It just happens

Like anything in life

 

It makes me grateful for my amazing wife

She cares for me in my times of need

Sacrificing herself for the care I receive

Its hard to believe that she would care for me

When she has her own list of unmet needs

 

But she does and I”m grateful

More than she’ll ever know

She deserves more gratitude

Than I can ever show

 

So I write this poem straight from my heart

For my wife who goes beyond the part

Caring for me, well exceeding

The minimum care I actually needed

 

Life is not easy and I can’t always help

But in sickness and in health

I wouldn’t live it with anyone else

 

Defiance

Defiance

I was told no

Which I promptly ignored

I had no obvious reason

No bone to pick, not a grudge to hold

Yet I still went against what I was told

 

I still defied the authority

Despite it’s power over me

 

Perhaps it was curiosity

A desire to know the consequence

To act out and then repent

Like a child seeking to discover their world

By acting in a way that seems absurd

 

Perhaps it was a deeper desire

Subtle urges, smoldering fires

A cause for the effect that was my decision

It’s memory repressed and carefully hidden

Seeking revenge for a past transgression

Only in hindsight will there be a confession

 

Perhaps it was to find the line

The line held in the authorities mind

Finding exactly where this line was drawn

Demotes the authority to a simple pawn

As approaching the line but not crossing it

Gives you much more without any losses

 

Or maybe

Just maybe

It was because I was told no

Without anyone taking the time to show

Me the consequences and the reasons behind the rule

Believe their authority to be absolute

It may seem strange asking you to explain

That which you’ve always naturally retained

 

But I’m not the same

 

I did not live my life in your shoes

Not for one day was I ever you

So giving me no without a single regard

Is hard, it’s hard

Nothing less than hard

 

Its hard for me to grasp where you’re coming from

Hard for me to understand your decision

Hard for me to blindly follow

Its hard for me to believe what seems hollow

 

I realize I went against what I was told

And you must be thinking this is getting old

That I have no hope to ever change

Forever and always remaining the same

 

But if instead of simply saying no

You gave me more beyond what you’ve just told

Giving me the reason you denied my request

Then maybe I can give you reason to forget

The person I’ve been, full of defiance

When it’s replaced by heartfelt compliance

 

Deep down inside, while I may not agree

If you take the time to help me see

You will see exactly who I can be

 

 

Caffeine

Caffeine

There’s a drug

Just one in particular

Which alters moods

Is heavily abused

Is one people are fickle of

~

It’s called caffeine

And we seem to need it

To get up or get at it

To get out of bed

To lift the fog from our weary heads

That has stuck around since our last fix

~

We need it for motivation

Self medication for sleep deprivation

To boost our mood

Or simply just to pass the time

~

But when we have it we feel alive

The world moves faster, the sky is clearer

And every moment seems that much realer

Our focus is sharper, our memory improves

It’s hard to imagine what caffeine can’t do

~

Which is why it comes in many forms

From coffee to tea

To water we seed

With chemicals engineered to mimic it’s effects

~

It’s to the point where we’ve become obsessed

With this empty energy as we think we can keep

Going and going without a wink of sleep

Until our deficit of sleep becomes too deep

So we close our eyes as we suddenly crash

Or consume enough for a heart attack

~

The thought is really quite profound

That either we make ourselves slow down

Or life will do it for us
~

-Inspired by a very strong cup of coffee

Anniversary/Valentines Poem

I wrote this poem for my wife, for our anniversary and Valentines Day.

 

Three Blissful Years

Three years, three years

Three blissful years

Three years before we were filled with emotion

Excitement, uncertainty and unfailing devotion

Since then we’ve had trials and we’ll certainly have more

But always

Always

You I adore

 

Our troubles have brought us closer together

By now we’ve become two birds of a feather

Alike in our differences as we learn evermore

Continually I learn, why it’s you I adore

 

These last three years have flown on by

My oh my, how time does fly

But no matter how fast time seems to speed

I will always know that you I need

The one I long to come home to each night

Or lay beside as we turn out the lights

I know we will have our share of fights

As we kick and scream and sometimes bite

It doesn’t matter which one is right

In the end it always turns out alright

 

So as we celebrate this day

And Valentine’s day which follows it too

Know that no matter what we face

I will forever and always love you

 

P.S. I am still here and still writing, my extended hiatus is because I can never seem to find the time to write at this point in my life.
Thanks for stopping by!

Resolved to Fail

Resolved to Fail

I’ve made my resolution

Of how to embrace the coming year

A little late but that’s alright

As I’m planning to fail this year

 

 

Without being afraid of the repercussions

If I happen to fall far short of perfection

I refuse to base my entire self worth

On any planned reduction

 

 

Or any additions for that matter

 

It matters not if I’d like to lose weight

Or spend less time being lazy

I know I’ll fail regardless

No matter what the case is

 

 

Which brings me to my second commitment

The only other one I’ll make

That no matter how many times I try

No matter how many attempts I take

Regardless if discouragement comes my way

Despite the words that people may say

 

 

For every failure I accomplish this year

I will try again

 

 

I’ll get back up and give it my all

Even if I’ve hit the wall

No matter how hard I fall

 

 

I will rise to try again

 

 

Time will tell if I can keep this up

At least I have some certainty

I know I’ll be able to do at least half

As for the other, we will see

 

Entertainment Addict

Entertainment Addict

Loss of feeling, my feet are tingling

I’ve been sitting here without reason

 

Another show, another hour

Slowly my life loses meaning

 

In the blink of an eye, eight hours have passed

And I didn’t feel a second

I’d turn away, avert my eyes

But it calls to me, it beckons

 

“Just a little bit longer, you don’t need much sleep

I’ll entertain you if you stay”

So I give in once again and my life just stays this way

 

I can’t remember a dream I’ve had that wasn’t just a rerun

Or a highlight reel of the games I’ve played searching for some fun

I don’t know where my ambition went

But I can take a guess

It might have something to do with a problem I have yet to confess

 

I’m addicted to entertainment

 

There I said it, I just can’t get enough

If I go too long without I’ll get the shakes

My body aches and I’ll quake until I get the stuff

 

It’s gotten so bad that I’d rather watch life up on the silver screen

Instead of trying to live my own as a human being

 

It’s so much easier to watch someone else live life

Than to suffer through it myself

Or to play a game with written rules

Where I don’t have the chance to make a fool

Of myself when I unwittingly break the norms

And go against the grain

Each time I make a mistake.

Oh, my show is back on, that’s all the time I have

Until the next commercial break.

Bemoaning A Good Life

Bemoaning A Good Life

I have a great life

I’m really quite blessed

I may not have it all, but there are those who have less

Yet, despite my great fortune to have what I’ve got

I gripe and complain as if I’ve forgot

That I don’t deserve anything in life

I’m not entitled, I don’t have the right

The world isn’t here to serve my wants and desires

Even if I often act as if it were

I’ll complain that I can’t afford to buy name brand

When there are families who would love to have just a can

Of anything at all, even if it’s expired

I’ll complain that when I speak, nobody listens

When there are protesters who speak and then are sent to prisons

Just because their government felt the pressure

I’ll complain that I don’t have enough free time

When there are farmers spending months for the food I dine

Using their free time to eat or sleep

I’ll complain that my boss doesn’t understand my needs

When there are workers making wages that don’t even feed

Their family at large, so they go hungry instead

I’ll complain that my life isn’t going the way I planned it

When there are some behind bars for one misunderstandment

Denied liberty for life for a single mistake

I could continue pointing out that my complains are unjustified

But I think you get the point

I just wish I did too

I wish I could remind myself everyday

That I should be grateful for what I have

Always joyful, thankful and glad

Sadly, I know I will soon forget

Then be back to

complaining, griping

bemoaning and whining

about my

wonderful

life

This poem was inspired by my personal complaints. I find myself complaining about trivial things, when there are those who have it much worse and are happier. With the new year just around the corner we should all remember how blessed we are. That no matter what life hands to us we should be grateful for what we have. The first step to a positive life is a positive perspective.

Unjustly Targeted

Unjustly Targeted

Why am I the target

For your anger

Your frustration

Your display of dissatisfaction

With some obscure event

That I wasn’t even involved in

.

I wasn’t the one who made you late

Or wrote you up

Or pulled you over

Or made your drink

Unlike you think

It really should have been made

.

And yet here we are

With me being verbally berated for something that’s never bothered you before

You set your sights on me

Loaded your mouth

And fired a volley of insults and dis-approvals

.

Then you expect me to stand tall while you’re busy measuring my shortcomings

As if this undue criticism should have no effect on me

It just blows me away that you don’t realize how painful your words can be

You cut me open and left a scar for the world to see

Yet somehow you can’t see it

.

And the worst part is, when you’re done venting

Tired of beating this dead horse

You get to walk away free

You get to pack up everything that was bothering you and saddle it up on me

So I become the unwilling beast of burden for your excess baggage

.

Then, you leave me behind

Abandoned in the wake of your wanton destruction

Casting me aside as if I was nothin’

If you’re expecting the next time we meet for everything to be just fine

Know that it won’t be

I’ll still be hurt

Bearing your burden in my pain

.

But I don’t seek revenge, or even an apology

I just want you to know the pain that you’ve caused me

So the next time you are ready to vent at the expense of another

Know just how damaging your words can be

And watch where you point that thing

Keys

Keys

There is deep meaning behind the keys on a ring

Much more than that which we typically cling

You must look far beyond your usual things

For both the good and the bad keys can bring

 

They can stand for travel

As keys to operate a car

Surely will get you far

Across pavement, dirt or gravel

 

They can stand for security

As keys to lock and secure your home

Let you feel safe leaving it alone

Peace of mind, in all it’s purity

 

They can stand for passwords

As keys to your online personalities

Gives you control over your digital realities

Who you are in the virtual herd

 

They can stand for importance

As keys to protect one’s personal possessions

Shows their value with no verbal confessions

Revealing priorities with but a glance

 

Though keys have other meanings they hide

Possessing a dreadfully sinister side

 

Keys stand for unpleasant truths

Representing fear and lack of trust

Saying that we know there’s a thief among us

Adults included, it’s not just the youths

 

Keys grant us access, but first they deny

Taking away what they’re pretending they gave

Granting us access only if we behave

Revoking it suddenly with no reason why

 

Keys are enablers for wicked deeds

Hiding their offenses when the doors are closed

What goes on inside nobody knows

But the law is not something they heed

 

Keys are a product of a tragic history

They only exist because people have jeopardized life and property

Otherwise we wouldn’t need to exercise such a restricted monopoly

Why we can’t change from our past is a mystery

 

Keys, blessing or curse, which one is true?

That answer is decided entirely by you

Take a moment and think it through

What do keys really mean to you?

~

With my new position I use keys every day which is what inspired this poem.

I plan on updating this post with a recorded reading in the next day or so. Thanks for stopping by!

P.S.

It appears as though my microphone is broken so no recording for a bit. The good news is that I should be rolling out a new poem soon. I won’t put a day on it because apparently I’m terrible at keeping to commitments like that.